Lincoln.

Most people say they're proud of where they came from, or at least you should be.
But me.. I'm really not. I hate it here. It's so run down and there's so much crime it's disgusting.
If it was the same as it was say... 50 years ago, when it was clean and the countryside wasn't full of heroin needles, i'd like it a lot more.
Bradford really has gone downhill even since i was born, people keep making Documentaries about here trying to make it look nice.. And it's still awful. They show the nicest parts, and it's horrendous still.

Anyway, this post isn't about Bradford. It's about Lincoln.
I just love it there. The air seems so clean, the people are nicer, i feel accepted and the scenery is beautiful. The worst parts of Lincoln are still better than the best areas of Bradford.

It seems so weird that the only reason i really know about Lincoln is because of Xbox..
If my friend hadn't had an xbox friend who had an xbox friend which led to facebook friends.. Then i wouldn't know Rosie. (complicated i know but i cba writing it out properly)
And because of Rosie, i'm a better person than i was a few years ago.
We became friends about 4 years ago now, and hit it off straight away. We used to spend ages on webcam to each other and on the phone just chatting about random things, and the december of that first year we started talking, she came up to see me. We've been best friends ever since.
She's kept me strong through so much and i honestly don't know where i'd be without her, or if i even would be here.. And i can never thank her enough for that. She is as big a part of my life as my mum. And i know she always will be.
Through going to see Rosie in Lincoln many times, i've met other brilliant people through her and have realised how great Lincoln is for me.


I was in Lincoln all last week, i only got to see Rosie for 2 days as she was extremely busy and had a wedding to attend, and that sucked a bit. But it gave me time to finally get out of my shell and properly go and see my other Lincoln friends and stay at theirs.

On Tuesday me and Rosie went into town to get her eyebrows waxxed and ended up bumping into Lynsey and her friend Elsa. I pretty much almost froze up and went all anxious and awkward because it wasn't planned and i had no idea what to say. We went our seperate ways and then i felt like a rude cunt so i text Lynsey inviting her and Elsa to dinner with us. When we met back up and went for dinner, it was actually really lovely. I stopped being so awkward and anxious and just had a nice time. Lynsey was super lovely, just as she is online, which is a shock because sometimes people are mega different. We ended up being fat and sharing a desert afterwards, which was tasty as fuck. It was also nice to not feel so jittery with someone new so close to me ect. Gah, she's beautiful. Photogenic people who are even more beautiful in real life are poo and i hate them a bit because of that :(
Elsa was also really nice and it was cute because she was kind of more 'hippy' and her and Rosie were all like YAYYAYAYA about life and yeah it was a nice day in the end, even if the walk home took forever because we stopped to buy cat phone charms...

On the Wednesday i met Claudia, the first date i've ever been on, well, kinda. I'd been on one with a guy but that was before i realised my sexuality and it was shit so i don't count it at all.
We went for a Starbucks and got to know each other a bit before going to see The Great Gatsby. The film was good and i felt happy. I made a move first for the first time in my life and held her hand throughout the movie, it might not seem like much to anyone else, but when you really like someone, and it's the first time you've ever met them in real life, it feels so so nice just to hold them in any way.
Sadly we didn't get to see each other again throughout the rest of the week because her mum killed her for not revising for her important Science exam.. But yeah. It was lovely, and things are still chilled i think. We're taking things slowly as we can't see each other all the time at the moment, but i can say that i do feel butterflies in my stomach when we talk, which is something i'm really not used to. But yeah, i'm really hoping everything works out because it'd be lovely and i'd love to make her happy.

That night i stayed at Chloes' and we pretty much spent the whole night taking unattractive photos because we're too silly to take nice ones. It was lovely though and we made quorn chicken pasta bake which was yummy and then had THE nicest red velvet cupcakes ever, thankyou tesco. I also met Chloes' dog, Barney, and he was such a mental bastard. He was obsessed with me and would not stop jumping up for my boobs, oh dear. But yeah, it was nice to spend some time with her where we could just sit and chill.


For the rest of the week i stayed at Roshans', which i thought might be mega awkward at first since
i'd never met her before this, even though we had been talking for months on end.. But it was nice and comfortable and i didn't feel too anxious which is a major plus for me. We got on really well and it was like we'd known each other for years. She had work on the first night until 11, but we went for a meal first and i walked back to hers and sat in her room watching Teeth.. (she had sex with her own brother in the end just so she could chop his dick off?!?!) and cuddling her cat. We then spent the rest of the night watching all the gay and lesbian films on Netflix.
But yeah, meeting her for the first time was lovely and relaxed and i definitely didn't feel pressurised into forcing myself to be less akward than normal.

On Friday i met Chloe again and we got the bus to go see Alex in Saxilby for a while, which was nice, it was mega warm and we just chilled and ate cheese toasties before attempting to watch a film, which didn't work at all. So we resorted to taking photos. Again.


I just spent the next two days chilling with Roshan really, it was lovely and i'm honestly so glad i met her. Rosh had work on Saturday night again until Midnight, and lucky me had a panic attack whilst she was out. I went into the kitchen to get a drink to calm myself down, next thing i knew i was upstairs and in her sisters room asking if she wanted to watch a film whilst crying and... Bleeding. Relapsed after 2 months. Over nothing really. Over a panic attack because i sent a risky text. And that was BEFORE the text was recieved badly. Well done Sam.
But yeah, her sister was lovely and understanding, bandaged me up and we sat and watched The Matrix until Roshan got home, i'm so glad someone was in or else i don't know what i would have done.
But yeah, less of the depressing stuff...

I got accepted into the college last month to study History, Philosophy and Religious Studies, and will hopefully be moving down (to the bottom apartment of Rosie's dads house, l o l) at the start of July so i can spend my Summer there with the people i love.
As soon as i'm 18 i'll be finding my own place, maybe even getting a place with Louise and Alex if they still wanna move out! Which will be nice and we can just all have a great time and sing in the kitchen to shit radio songs and live off of Macaroni Cheese and toast.
I just can't wait to be living there, actually having opportunities and friends and being happy. It'll be hard at times, but i know in the long run it'll be so so so so so much better for me.

How do i end this now? I've never been good at conclusions ect. No one has probably even read this far anyway. BYEEE GUYS.