Scared

I'm so scared of everything recently and i don't know what to do
All i want to do is sleep and cry and cut and i've spent today ripping open my scars with my nails and teeth because the house is full and nothing sharp is around
I don't know why i feel like this, nothing is going wrong, my life is probably better than it has been ever but i still want to die
I feel worthless and useless and nobody really wants me around and i know it i'm just a waste of space
I haven't eaten a real meal since tuesday and that was only half a pizza and before that for 2 weeks i didn't eat much either because of visiting my nana in hospital and everything it got in the way and im just not hungry any more now and i've lost half a stone but i'm too scared to eat incase i get addicted and can't stop and blow up and up and up and then everyone will hate me for being disgusting and ugly more than they do already because it's desirable to be skinny but i hate being skinny but i don't want to be not skinny i just don't want this i don't want to be me anymore